Nurturing Human Connections

I feel like a dog who just survived a bath. You know, the twirling second chance at life happy dance of relief and celebration they display after the trying but necessary ritual has been completed?  I made it through the holidays that always stretch into the birthday now all loaded up by the weight of life. Add to it the solitude of Covid, and it could have all been really lonely. I braced myself. I prepared. 

But the truth is, there were many parts of it that I really enjoyed–the cold and quiet walks…the peace of simplicity…the open time and space. There were the beautiful neighbor-coordinated light displays on whole blocks. Many of them were clearly a collaborative effort because the strings of lights went back an forth across the street and between the houses. I drove my mama around twice–once after the holidays–to see the lights. Lots of people still have them up–such a generous offering in these literal and figurative dark times.

I’ve learned that when you nurture connections with as much authenticity as you can muster, folks show up. And all you really need is one person to come through. In fact, my soul friend of decades with whom I’ve shared a river of tears and a bounty of belly laughs gave me the most kind and thoughtful surprise. She created these birthday signs using plastic folders, so they’re completely weatherproof and reusable. I found them in my yard on my birthday.

And my parents met me at the Botanical Gardens and bought me a present in the gift shop–a ball cap with a honeybee embroidered on it. The perfect reminder that spring is closer than it was in September and my school bees will soon be returning to their hive.  Hope springin’ eternal.

When creating a life, I don’t know what could matter more than establishing authentic and lasting connections. To do so, you have to be willing to be there for the joy and the hard stuff, to try to give as well as receive, to stand up in the wedding and then listen to the expression of 100 sorrows after the divorce. You’ve got to march as empowered sisters in the protest and ugly cry together on the beach while soaking up the sun, and on and on. Perfection is never required, but effort is always appreciated. Putting in the honest work up front significantly increases the chance that you will never really be alone.

As loss and grief and life have taught me, if you make your best effort to have a pure heart, even if you stumble a lot, the very best people will show up when you need them the most. And they did.