Transition Recovery
Staring at clouds through skylight, studying cracks in plaster, letting the rough aching inside scrub my bones clean while I stay quiet and still. Up out of bed, back down on the couch. Pulsing head and rising sorrow. Scrolling until it starts to feel a bit nauseating. Holding a book but not reading it, eating mostly for sustenance, wanting to want to feel hope filled again. Tentatively reaching out to soul connections, retreating just short of commitment. Bathing and putting pajamas back on. Whole body depletion. Lying, waiting, surrendering. Honoring. Grieving the boundless energy I have been socialized to believe I should have. Retreat first warm and nurturing, then, like the scab that begins to itch, restless discomfort means recovery is underway and the stillness will heal everything over. Patiently waiting for the click in my brain and slow effervescing sensation in my body to signal it is time to rise again. Doggies stay close by, keeping watch and curling in…instinctively understanding the process.
Sensitive, empathic, introverted, existentially tangled soul in transition. Recovering. Soon to be born again.
Internal Luminosity 
Leave a comment